


The Homer's Odyssey of Bad Hook Ups

by Verocity



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Drinking, Humor, M/M, Short and Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:53:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29732781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Verocity/pseuds/Verocity
Summary: Yunhyeong drinks half his beer in one go. “I’m guessing this is about you?”Junhoe rolls his eyes. He does that a lot. It takes a bit of closeness with Junhoe to find the fondness in the action. “They insist I made a bad decision.”
Relationships: Goo Junhoe/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	The Homer's Odyssey of Bad Hook Ups

When Yunhyeong lets himself into Jinhwan’s apartment and is immediately hit with a cacophony of drunken chatter, he figures it’s not as bad as he thought it might have been.

“Fukkin finally here, man!” Bobby greets him, waving his hand carelessly. The hand that has a can of Asahi in it. Some of the beer sloshes onto Hanbin’s hair, who either doesn’t mind or is too drunk to notice. “Took your time on the train, huh?”

Yunhyeong takes his place beside Chanwoo. “Unlike _some_ people, Jiwon, I actually have enough social life to make plans on a Friday night.” Chanwoo doesn’t react to his presence. That’s 3-drink Chanwoo: sitting straight and eyes open, but behind those eyes is just a potato turning in the microwave.

Jinhwan slides a beer over to Yunhyeong. “We wanted to get your opinion.” His cheeks are red. That’s 5-drink Jinhwan, and someone they normally avoid. 5-drink Jinhwan… “That’s why we sent that urgent message. We needed your opinion on something. So we asked you to come over.”

5-drink Jinhwan has _awful_ short-term verbal memory.

“And we figured your usual unbiased opinion is sorely much needed right this moment,” Donghyuk continues. He’s not as bad, Yunhyeong gauges. Too Wordy Donghyuk is usually just a couple of drinks in. But they have to cut him off at four cans. Nobody wants to deal with Nasty Donghyuk.

(Except Bobby, that one time. Neither of them have ever spoken about it. Yet.)

“Yeah, exactly,” Jinhwan opines. “So we called you. To come over.”

Yunhyeong looks at the last person at the table. At Junhoe, who is… not as intoxicated as Yunhyeong thought he might be. There’s a blush on his cheeks but his eyes are still focused and he’s not swaying precariously. Yunhyeong drinks half his beer in one go. “I’m guessing this is about you?”

Junhoe rolls his eyes. He does that a lot. It takes a bit of closeness with Junhoe to find the fondness in the action. “They insist I made a bad decision.”

Bobby reaches across the table to pat Yunhyeong’s shoulder. “We figured he’d listen to you. Since he listens to you more than us. Because you’re his favorite.”

“Hyung!” Junhoe yelps. He goes unheeded.

Yunhyeong chuckles. He’s aware of Junhoe’s… favoritism. “So, Gu Junhoe, why do they think I need to be here?”

Hanbin waves his hand between Yunhyeong’s and Junhoe’s light of sight. “You should have asked _us_! For an unbiased recounting of events!”

Yunhyeong carefully holds Hanbin’s hand and lowers it back down. “I really think you guys are too deep to be unbiased about anything right now.”

Hanbin blinks thoughtfully. “You know what, you’re probably right.”

“ _I’ve been saying that!_ ” Junhoe glares indignantly at Hanbin. His phone beeps, He glances at it, then ignores the message.

“So we wanted to ask you,” Jinhwan speaks up again, “about…”

“My opinion?” Yunhyeong guesses, smiling teasingly at Jinhwan.

Jinhwan nods. “Yes. On. Who do you think the worst person is-“

“Can we just forget about this?” Junhoe insists.

“-for Junhoe to hook up with.”

Junhoe grumbles to himself and finishes the first of his beer. Bobby slides him another one. It goes ignored.

Yunhyeong blinks. To let the question sink in. “Okay. Huh.”

“Come on, hyung!” Donghyuk empties another can. “First answer that pops into your mind. Who’s the absolute worst person for Junhoe to bang?”

First response. “Well, there’s that ahjusshi around the corner that sells fruits,” Yunhyeong says to earn an offended “Hyung!” from Junhoe.

Hanbin tilts his head thoughtfully. “That’s ageist.”

4-drink Hanbin reaches some interesting conclusions. “I meant it’s because that ahjusshi is already happily married and has two kids our age already. So he’s living a happy family life so it would be extremely bad for Junhoe to disrupt that.” Yunhyeong tips his beer at Junhoe. “And I don’t think he did.”

“That’s not much of a vote of confidence, hyung,” Junhoe huffs. He’s looking at his phone again which his beer is still unopened. Interesting.

Donghyuk leans his elbows on the table. “Serious answer then, hyung. Whose dick is the absolute worst for Junhoe to put in his mouth?” Someone needs to pay more attention to Donghyuk’s consumption. They’re teetering closely to the point of no return.

“ _Kim Donghyuk-_ “

“Give us a top three,” suggests Bobby. “And realistic answers this time.”

“Jinhwan-hyung,” says Yunhyeong immediately.

Junhoe glances at Jinhwan, but Jinhwan just raises his head and blinks slowly. Sleepy Jinhwan is infinitely more welcome for everyone’s sanity.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea to sleep with your high school crush,” Yunhyeong explains.

Bobby winces at the words. Unwelcome memories there, maybe. “No one’s arguing with that.”

“Top two?” Hanbin presses.

“…. probably Donghyuk.”

“Good answer,” Donghyuk agrees, getting on his feet and holding on to the top of Chanwoo’s head for support. “Because I _know_ Gu Junhoe cannot handle all this hot _sexy_ trash.”

Junhoe facepalms. Jinhwan slumps over ever so slightly.

Hanbin, to his credit, looks mildly concerned. “Someone stop him before he starts giving lap dances.”

“Who’s the absolute worst, then?” Junhoe asks, largely ignoring Donghyuk who’s taking his bomber jacket off sensually at a non-responsive Chanwoo. “Who’s the top of your list?”

Bobby eagerly leans closer. “Yeah, who’s like. The most epic bad decision for Junhoe to hook up with?”

“The Homer’s Odyssey of bad decision,” Hanbin adds. None of them have read that book but the globalization of media does wonders to level the playing field.

Yunhyeong looks apologetically at Junhoe. “That… Mingyu guy. Your ex.” Then to Bobby, “But even Junhoe’s not dumb enough to do that… right?”

Junhoe’s shoulders sink. Just slightly. Like some of the fight left him at those words.

Yunhyeong gapes at him. “Junhoe. You _didn’t_ … did you?”

Bobby’s cackling and Hanbin’s dry laugh are answers enough.

Junhoe’s phone beeps again. He flicks at the screen and sighs. He still hasn’t opened his beer.

Yunhyeong drinks slowly, eyebrows still raised at the realization of why _everyone’s_ united at telling Junhoe the same thing. As happy as Junhoe and Mingyu made each other when they were dating, their break up left Junhoe as barely anything more than an absolute wreck. It took months for Junhoe to pull himself together, and even then Yunhyeong suspected a big part of Junhoe still hadn’t moved on.

The intercom buzzes. Junhoe gets on his feet. “I was really hoping you wouldn’t say that, hyung.” He opens the door. “Guys… I’d like you to meet… well, you already know him.”

Mingyu walks in with a sheepish smile and bows awkwardly at everyone. There’s some clinking from the bag in his hands.

“Oh no,” says Hanbin, always the fastest one to piece things together.

“Uh.” Junhoe reaches for Mingyu’s hand. “So like. We’re kinda back together.”

Yunhyeong sighs and makes space for Mingyu.

There’s a thump from across the table. Jinhwan appears to have completely fallen asleep.

Bobby, quietly, but with amusement in his eyes, takes the bag Mingyu offers. A shirt flies over at them.

Mingyu grins. Abashed, but more relaxed. “I see Donghyuk still hasn’t changed.”

Yunhyeong nods. He knows what he sees in Junhoe’s eyes as he looks at Mingyu. “Junhoe hasn’t, either.”

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> 


End file.
